peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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