her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
