we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
