I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
