her vagine was all disorganized.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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