im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
