Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
