On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
