im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
