he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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