It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
