is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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