So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
