Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
