I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
