I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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