Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
