Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
