the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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