just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
