I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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