and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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