My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
