They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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