I feel great
I just peed on a car
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
