Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
