hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
