So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
