I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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