You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
