She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
