names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize