his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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