Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
