Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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