Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
