So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
