So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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