just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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