I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
