So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
