So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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