too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
