The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
