Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
