i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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