Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
