Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
