so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
