i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
